PARALLEL-ITY

yes. i'm blogging.
at long last.
normally i'd have a lot to say,
but i just want to make this short.

i hate copycats.
did you know that?
just because i like something
doesn't mean you have to go like it too.
just because i've made a resolution
doesn't mean you go make a similar one
cause you think it's cool.
you change it, a litte,
and say it's yours,
but it's not.
and you take the credit.

so i'm changing my image.
and telling no one.
must you follow?
and tell the world
so they think you're the one
with the ideas?

i sure don't appreciate it.

you have no mind of your own.
get one.

i like j-rock.
must you follow?
i'm changing my outlook to be rock-ier.
must you follow?

you copy my everything.
and i'm going mad.

you pretend you understand what i rant
but you don't --
and i can tell.

just get lost.
leave me alone.

i'm myself.
i don't want a shadow.

you steal my idols,
my loves,
my hates,
my style,
what next?
my soul?

you may not know it.
but i hate you.
i try to be nice,
but it's a facade myself,
if i may say so.
i hate you.

i hate plagiarists,
groupies, whatever.
be original, damn it.

yes. DAMN. DAMN.
i'mswearing.
wanna copy that too?
DAMN YOU.
DAMN YOU.
DAMN YOU.

must you try and play a part
in everything i do?
it's MY originality.
i want to tell you to get your nose
OUT OF MY BUSINESS
but i don't.
and i don't know why.

actually, i do.
in school, i'm melly.
she's nice. funny. tolerant.

i'm ANNA.
ANNA BANANA.
ahahahaha.
YOU SO DO NOT
WANT TO MEET ME ON A DARK NIGHT.

i'm schizo.
did you know that?
want to copy that?
is having multiple personalities
very fun to you?

i'm talking to you.
yes, you.
i don't know your reasons
for wanting to be like me
BUT STOPPIT.
okay? just STOPPPIT.

i can't stand you.
neither can melly,
though she hides it.
melly has a shroud,
and wears it well.

STOP COPYING ME.
i hope you read this and know who you are.
cause i can't take it any more.
i go to pains to find my own originality
and you TAKE IT ALL AWAY
YOU DO YOU DO YOU DO.

I HATE YOU.
KUTABARE YOU.
KUTABARE YOU.
DIE. BURN. ROT.
I DON'T CARE.
I'M NOT MELLY.
I'M NOT NICE.
AHAHAHAHA.

sorry. lost it a bit.
but let anna continue.

i'm schizo.
AHAHAHAHHA.
i'm sarcastic
and I HATE YOU.
i hate copycats.
LEAVE ME ALONE.

you STOLE ALL MY DREAMS
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

you don't know me.
i'm anna.
not melly.
DO YOU HEAR ME?

i hate you.
STOP IT LEAVE ME ALONE
STOP BUGGING ME.

i like sylvester
so you do too.
i don't mind,
he needs fans.

but the way you copy
EVERYTHING I DO.
i can't take it.
the way i changed my image in
my clothes, my writing,
MUST YOU BE THE SAME?

so it's MY definition of cool.
MY definition.
steal that.
go ahead. TAKE IT TAKE IT.
CAUSE YOU ALREADY HAVE.

this is an angst entry.
let it be.
I JUST NEED TO LET YOU KNOW
HOW MUCH I HATE COPYCATS.

don't be me.
cause i am.


there. i let anna express.
hope she wasn't mean.

copycat, i hope you realise,
and GET A LIFE.
YOUR OWN.

i'm alternating now.
between melly and anna.
maybe M, and D, and kismet,
and masque, and shi, and liss
and all the other personalities will take over.

don't let malice in.
please no no no no.
she's gone, right?
buried deep inside my mind.

mind? what mind.
AHAHAHAHAHA.

pendulum. swingswingswing.
back and forth on your string.
who are you?
moving too fast to know.
ahahahahah. madness.
quiet cacophony of sound
takes over me.

i'm gone. before i leave,
vote for sylvester.

it'll be the last thing i do.

-kismet.
BURNish me, feed my soul
to that inferno,
no throw me in, thou torturest me
AAAAAAAAAAAH.

Melly the Great, the Wonderful, and Oh-So-Modest serenaded the stars at 10:01 PM

Touch-me-not

Hide away from the outside world
Enclose yourself in your emerald shell
(You're safe.)
No one can hurt you.

But you don't know love
And you don't know laughter
Your nights never end
And your stars never shine
(Is this your 'happily ever after'?)
Trapped inside your self-made cage

How will you ever learn?

-kismet. 6th September 2004

there is nothing to blog about.
period.
school reopens on monday.
gahh.

the poem above is touch-me-not.
not many rave reviews.
but it's the most recent, i guess.
*shrugs*
my life gets sad.
i need something to keep me occupied.
i haven't written a single line
of House of Assasins for days.
i don't know why i'm restless and bored
when there is so much to do.
ah wells.

let's just rewind.

i miss the days when
we ran around like nuts,
*nuts don't run*
not caring about earthly responsibilities.
they didn't mean anything.
we were young.
and carefree.
gahh. we're only thirteen, dang it.
why load all this onto us.
it's too much, i tell you.
philosophy.
the mysteries of life.
what in the world.

~knees tucked in; head spinning
you made your own void~

Melly the Great, the Wonderful, and Oh-So-Modest serenaded the stars at 11:42 AM

Utopia Missing

Missing: one Utopia,
never used,
filled with dreams-come-true
and satisfaction.
reward upon return.
owner is in desperate need.
please return upon sight.

i need my utopia.
whereisit whereisit whereisit?
i'm sick of teenage angst.
that childish venting of anger
in which one pours out
all his/her secret fears and dreams
and exaggerates them
to make them seem eerie and dark.
talk about cutting. faith.
truth and love. death.
what do you all know?
you're just teens.
that's why it's TEENAGE angst, you know.
drop the facade and grow up.
i don't want to know
how you lost love
or decided to commit suicide.
i daresay i was like that
once upon a time.
i hope i've outgrown it.

where is my utopia?
it was a safe haven. temporarily.
then it flew away
in all tranquility
leaving behind a single golden feather.
hope. perhaps.
or maybe not.

who knows what i'm blogging.
i'm blogging late.
this blog supposedly opened
yesterday.
well, it's un-updated.
updated two new poems.
quite well-received, i dare say.
ah wells.
i shall seriously blog now.

went back to nanyang today.
it was fun. ^^
saw a ton of people
and teachers.
list of things not to do again
a) get cotton candy on nose
*sticky...*
b) stand next to john ong
*major height inferiority complex*
and c) go around with rachel and yona
they were untying each other's shoelaces. o.O
it took us forever to get to the canteen.
i wasted ten dollars.
but nanyang rocks. ^^

utopia lost; utopia found
what does it matter?
where the rainbows play on waterfalls.
STOP. what am i saying?
it's gone.

open house was fun.
hat show.
i'll never be afraid in public ever again,
that's for sure.
went around in
a big black hat
adorned with a silver ribbon
and a golden hari raya thing.
i was wearing a thick purple fur coat.
hot. course i am.
ah wells. what's happening to me?
i'm becoming lame.
in my posts.
bahh. my seniors stole my song.
i wrote it.
it's my song.
at least acknowledge me.

the serenade.
music and words by kismet.
oh my darling
come home with me
i love your eyes
they're like the sea
when it's polluted
with mercury
then oh my darling
come home with me
all this done in an exaggerated opera voice.
it rhymes, too.
i'm proud of it.
drama girls.

i shall stop here.
i have a chapter to type.
HoA updates:
chapter twelve is being typed.
be patient.
chapter seventeen is done.
characters reicheru, rai and rui
will turn up in chapter twenty-two.
be patient.

For Sale: one Utopia,
never used,
filled with too-perfect skies
and flawless thoughts.
price upon asking.
owner is in desperate need of money.
too much perfection isn't that bad... right?

Melly the Great, the Wonderful, and Oh-So-Modest serenaded the stars at 9:13 PM

this blog reopens
on the 6th of september, 2004.
have a nice wait.
meanwhile, i would like to thank the following people.
for standing up for me:
charlotte rachel hannah mingmei natalie
elynn yona yongquan jianle jeremy
kuangkai and all my wonderful saint nicholas friends.
you're all true friends
and i'll love you guys for eternity.
for reviewing:
charlotte rachel yingxi huirong lintong
vionna olivia natalie michelle zekgian
charleen jianle.
*non singaporeans* heather (chibichocobo)
manuel (manuel fajar) sam (lostontheroof)
terryll (still2twisted) kakyou (kakyou takashiro)
nick (nick-wordsmith) katrina (superus stupidicus)
zoe (cirinde) rebecca (strange apathy)
oh forget it. this is getting long.
i love all of you forever and ever,
especially my house of assasins reviewers!
if there's anyone i've left out
in my thank-yous,
i'd like to thank you anyway.
because inamorata is gone,
but kismet is back!
*throws confetti around*
~i saw a bunch of aborigines
in a banana bush~

Melly the Great, the Wonderful, and Oh-So-Modest serenaded the stars at 10:03 PM

hello.
i'm back.
i'm not back because i love you.
i'm back because some
very nasty people have
been clogging up my tagboard.
note to them: have fun.
as of today, 25th august,
this blog is dead.
until i get a new template.
until i decide to blog for real.
until i learn some html.
maybe during the september holidays.
but for now,
goodbye.
thank you, readers.
-kismet.

Melly the Great, the Wonderful, and Oh-So-Modest serenaded the stars at 10:19 PM

whee. i downloaded the video
for slither! by velvet revolver. ^^
right. let's see.
this friday i'm going to watch mean girls!
wahaha. with nattay and huirong
and rachel and angie and mingie.
yayness. i still remember walking to
junction eight last friday. natty tai
and i went round saying HI
to everyone along the way.
steff and becky and natty
pretended not to know us.
first natty started it.
i was claiming the paddy fields
when this guy walked by
and natty yelled in his face HI.
he looked shocked and got away
as soon as possible.
i got off my paddy fields
*everyone was trespassing*
and joined in. we ran into
this ri guy and yelled HI.
the look on his face was priceless.
we went round doing it to EVERYONE.
this group of primary school girls
was highly amused and burst into giggles.
we said it to the passenger service guy
when i was trying to unblock my ez link card.
thank goodness he had a sense of humour.
today. was okay. during science
mrs chia was absolutely evil.
she gave us m&ms. but we had to put
them in boiling water!
and she was like
"yes, you're going to watch
the chocolate disappear.
but not the way you want it to.
moohaha." 'twas a painful experience.
whee. my sister just sent me
another mad song. it's
"the book is on the table"
sample lines...
the book is on the table
the table the table
the cat is on the table
the table the table
the dog is on the table
the table the table
you see where this is going.
it goes all the way to
everybody's on the table
the table the table
table table table table table.
bahaha. i'm sending it to rachel now.
maybe she'll be able to count the
number of times they
say 'table'. i hope she has fun.
whee tomorrow we take
cca photographs! being the drama society,
mr connolly said we can
bring any stage props we like
for the informal photograph.
guess i'll just go with
the hat and grizabella. *shrugs*
whee. i'm proud of the decoration
of my lit file. *throws confetti around*
i have the poem 'i'm nobody'
on the front cover on top
of a picture of a dead rose. ^^
and on the back is an original one,
with links to myself,
athena, charlotte and yingxi
on fictionpress! baha. oh no.
they're going to kill me now.
THE READDRESS FOREVER!
it's high time we started inviting
more poets to join. bahh.
okay. i shall go print
out more pictures to put on my wall.
ooh yay ying sent me 'fukai mori'!
*bouncies* 'tis from inuyasha.
okies. ciao for now!
~then there's a pair of us - don't tell!
they'd banish us, you know~

Melly the Great, the Wonderful, and Oh-So-Modest serenaded the stars at 8:48 PM

right. i need to blog
about something, ne?
but nothing interesting really happened
over the weekend. later i'm
going to charlotte's house for
a project with athena and rachel.
bahh. let's talk about friday, then.
erm. i bought a cd after third lang!
wahaha. i got hamasaki ayumi's rainbow!
*waves it around*
yay. i want velvet revolver's contraband.
imagine going up to the salesperson
and saying, "hey, i want contraband!"
baha. side note: contraband
means illegal goods.
i LOVE velvet revolver.
i miss guns 'n' roses...
too bad half of them died
due to drug addiction.
rock bands. *shakes head*
anyway. before that?
it was the ne fieldtrip.
we went to the fish farm,
the aeroponics agrotech farm,
and the stupid, smelly mushroom farm.
i'm sure that was my favourite
field trip of all time.
not to mention our tour guide
was this idiotic ah beng
who needs speech lessons.
bahh. first the fish farm.
qian hu. i have nothing to say,
come to think of it.
we saw nice arowanas.
and we saw ugly ones.
there is this picture of me
making a face next to the
ugliest arowana in the gallery.
we look exactly alike.
i don't think i really need to try, ne?
then the aeroponics farm.
nothing much.
and i mean that.
we already learned about aeroponics
and primary school, and they
didn't teach us anything more
than we already knew.
then they screened this
disgustingly boring video which i spent
my time falling asleep during its run,
and charlotte had to poke me
to keep me awake.
the salad bowl...
some salad bowl.
i am no salad fan, and their salad bowl
did not convert me into one.
the vegetables tasted kinda... dusty.
but still, 'twas lunch.
and their so called 'lettucino'
was completely unworthit.
i didn't get it and i
never intended to anyway.
and the mushroom farm.
it was dirty, stinky and they
didn't tell us anything.
they let us eat free mushrooms.
was i supposed to say hooray?
bahh. i think we spent more
time on the bus than
at the farms.
i did not feel like blogging today.
so i shan't continue.
nobody's loss.
i think you can tell
what kind of mood i'm in today.
~nanka shiawase
chotto shiawase~

Melly the Great, the Wonderful, and Oh-So-Modest serenaded the stars at 9:16 AM